A close shave in LA

26-29 April

We opted to get a 48-hour ticket for the hop-on, hop-off bus to start our LA exploration. The weather was lovely and sunny while we were there (we even got a little burnt), so it was ideal to see the main sights around Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Downtown, and get us to Santa Monica in those first couple of days. We took the obligatory photos of the Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive signs; the Viper Room; Chateau Montmarte; the stars and foot and hand prints in concrete; and the different theatres (Egyptian, Chinese etc). We even popped into Ripley's Believe it or not museum, which was somewhat lame, interesting and gruesome all rolled into one. My favorite bit was the impromptu cheesy electronic dance room at the end, which traced your movements on the wall in hypercolour, much like an iPod ad on TV. Naturally, Chris broke out his finest moves.

Happily we found a juice bar down the road from our hotel that had veg juice. This became our regular morning breakfast stop. While in LA, we also regularly popped into a chain store called Coffee bean and tea leaf, which had good (unsweetened) tea and coffee and relatively healthy food. This was after several misadventures in other stores, which left us with sickly syrupy liquids that went straight in the bin after a couple of attempts to drink them.

Before we left home, Chris bought tickets for us to see the basketball on 26 April. We saw the semi finals between the Lakers and Spurs. Held at the Staples Center, it was just like the big basketball games in the movies - with bright lights, dramatic cheesy music, cheerleaders, personalised messages on the big screens, kiss and dance cams, oversized hands people wave around, and celebrities in the front row (in our case, Jack Nicholson, who wore black sunnies the whole time and didn't hold back abusing the ref and players, leaving before the game ended in disgust at how bad it was). While it's clear to anyone who knows me how little interest I have in sport of any sort, it was quite a fun night. The game itself was pretty boring, but the entertainment made up for it. My favorite was the kiss cam - where the camera man picks random couples sitting in the stadium and broadcasts them kissing on the big screen. It picked the wrong bloke in one instance - so the woman laughed and turned to kiss the man sitting on the other side of her. Another time it picked a couple who looked to be in their late 70s. The man looked really confused but chastely pecked his partner. It picked them again at the end of the segment. The man looked a bit more certain and gave her a big, long passionate kiss. Everyone cheered. The dance cam was also great - with kids doing crazy, enthusiastic jigs when they appeared on the big screen.

We ditched Disneyland (and forcing Chris onto a ferris wheel) to visit Santa Monica and Venice Beach for a second time, because we liked it so much. It had such a great vibe. The first time we went, on the Saturday, it was jammed with people, but the second time, the Monday we left, it was quieter and easier to move around. We walked along Santa Monica pier, where they filmed some of Forest Gump and have a shop dedicated to him. It's a huge pier with a fun park, arcade, restaurants and cafes, plus people selling souvenirs, sketching people and offering you the chance to have photos with parrots. We then made our way to Venice Beach, where the beach-side boulevard is lined with shops selling t-shirts, souvenirs, tattoos and snacks, and there are market stalls where people offer artwork and jewellery of varying quality, clairvoyant readings (so many psychics in LA!), personalised poetry and 'crap advice for a dollar'. There are also men who let you pat their dog or cat for a dollar (and that's no euphemism - they had their pets there on leads). If you were feeling under the weather, there was even a 'doctor in the house' - where you could go to legally smoke a joint. Fortunately, Chris and I were feeling fine, so didn't stop in.

Santa Monica and Venice Beach is a little rough, a little hippy, a little funky, a little posh and a little touristy. There was an unusual mix of people wearing leather pants, happy pants, hot pants, chinos or bikinis; and an excess of tattoos, piercings and children. You had to dodge skateboards, roller skates, bikes, prams and people playing hoola hoop. Buskers competed with radios from cafes and ghetto blasters on the beach and people selling their wares. It made for an interesting and entertaining stroll.

For even more contrast, we headed inland a few streets, where canals remain from when Venice Beach was first built (the guy who built the suburb built the canals, most of which were later filled in). It seemed quite a well-to-do neighbourhood, with big old-fashioned houses and beautiful gardens of palms, bougainvillea and roses that faced out onto the waterways. Most homes had a dock where a little boat was tied up. It was very peaceful compared with the chaos of the beach. Amusingly, it was also the setting for girls and guys having what we presumed were modelling photos taken on the bridges.

We ate loads of delicious hippy food in Santa Monica - I could happily live there for the tasty (and healthy) food alone! I even convinced Chris to eat in a raw vegan cafe - Euphoria loves rawvolution - where he was pleasantly surprised at how amazing the food and drinks were. I may have converted him - and will be on the lookout for similar places in Melbourne and adapting some of the cafes' recipes at home, especially the warm drinks (almond milk chai latte for starters). After a Wholefoods shopping splurge and feast, I'm also on the case for opening a store in Melbourne. I can't help but believe a Wholefoods store in St Kilda or Fitzroy would be an exceptional success. Yes?!

The extremes and excitement of Santa Monica must have affected Chris, because on our first visit there, he finally went through with shaving his hair to a number three, after more than six months' of painful (for me) debate with himself about it. This was a close shave indeed, as I had to step in and direct the hairdresser (a nice, though seemingly misguided lady) and Chris to shave the whole lot off to the same length, rather than leave a rather effeminate and David Beckham-esque floppy longer bit on top. The final result was a roaring success and has saved hours of grooming. Every day. I'm trying to convince him to keep this hairstyle.

Despite the fun of Santa Monica and Venice Beach, LA in general, and Hollywood in particular, was rather underwhelming. It seemingly tries to have the glitz of what I imagine Las Vegas does and the top end style that New York does (well, it has H&M and Mac shops, which suits me). I'm sure that in her hey day, Hollywood (and LA) would have been inspiring and breathtaking and special, but now the buildings are run down and tired-looking, and the roads and footpaths are cracked and holey. It really isn't the oasis of style and glamour and beauty I was expecting. It's hard to imagine that such famous movies and stories originated in this town. She feels a little forgotten, neglected and sad. Maybe it was just where we were staying and visiting though. We didn't venture to Hollywood Hills or go through Beverly Hills except for on a bus (but what we saw was a lot less glamorous and flashy than I was expecting).

However, what LA lacks in beauty and style, it makes up for in quirk and its people. The people were absolutely lovely - really friendly and chatty and helpful. People on the street and buses offer help with directions or just ask where you are from. Shop assistants are also usually up for a chat, and one (who put my age down as 32 when I was buying booze from the supermarket, bless him) talked to me about how the Australians he sketches in his day job as a Disney artist teach him words like 'ranga' - then called me and Julia Gillard one!

On Hollywood Boulevard, the people touting tours will talk to you for half an hour if given the chance (obviously trying for a sale but sometimes seemingly genuinely interested in a chat). We had one who thought Australia was near Russia... And they say the Australian education system has problems!

Being in Hollywood, we were also lucky enough to see several Michael Jacksons of varying colour and talent; two Jack Sparrows who vaguely resembled Johnny Depp; Wonder Woman and the Good Fairy hanging out; two good red Spidermen and one bad black one, who had all let themselves go based on their pot bellies (lycra is most unforgiving); and two transformers clearly not in disguise.

Homeless people in Hollywood were also very polite and always said hello and wished us a good day, not usually asking for money. We chatted with one homeless guy late one night near our hotel. His cat, Satvia, was in a harness attached to his backpack. She was a typical tortoiseshell who was very pretty and a little temperamental, but happy enough sitting there as he wandered along the street. I patted her briefly before she took a warning swipe. He told us she was in heat (apparently cats get PMS too). We actually saw a few people wandering around with cats on their shoulders and on harnesses. One guy even had a squirrel in a homemade rope harness on his shoulder as he walked down Hollywood Boulevard in midday traffic, both seemingly as happy as Larry. These aren't things you see everyday (well, they're not common in Briar Hill at least).

We left LA on the Monday night, flying to Quito via Panama City. While LA wasn't particularly special and I wouldn't go out of my way to visit again, we had fun and it was a nice way to start what is proving to be an exceptional honeymoon.